....LMB: "Dueling Nutjobs"....

October 04, 2004

As a Gen-Xer, I am an expert in discussing and debating stupid shit. It's a sad, sad practice of my generation to argue about really weird topics, usually dredging up nostalgic 70s/80s goofiness from our childhoods ("who would win in a fight, Starscream, Donkey Kong, or a box of Count Chocula cereal?"). For these crimes, we all probably deserve to have our bodies simply chucked in roadside ditches when we die.

But even I know when to say when.

In the wake of Bush/Kerry debates, many internet political geeks are not debating the issues, policies, or answers of the two candidates, but weird-ass conspiracy theories about whether or not the candidates cheated.

Conservative nuts are looking at this video clip, and see what appears to be John Kerry taking something out of his pocket before the debate. What is he pulling out? Fucked if I know, the video isn't very detailed. But a number of conservatives have decided that this mystery object is obviously a stack of forbidden crib notes that he could then use to demolish the president in the debate. Or maybe it was a pen, but if he brought his own pen it was against the rules!!! Therefore John Kerry should be horsewhipped and dragged naked through the streets.

But we must ask: did the pocket work alone? Or was there a Second Pocket?

And on the liberal side, folks are puzzling over Bush's odd "let me finish" comment during the debate, uttered when no one was trying to stop him. Some liberals are postulating that Bush must have been wearing an earpiece with someone reading him answers, and his comment was aimed at the remote reader. The detectives also point to a "mysterious bulge" in Bush's suitjacket, which is maybe supposed to be a transmitter or battery pack. Or, perhaps an alien implant.

I'm too tired to give this much more thought. Like I keep saying, the main things to focus on in any sort of election is what the candidates say they plan to do, how likely they are to actually follow through on those plans, and what are the probable impacts of those plans. Neither NotecardGate nor the Grassy Suit Bulge fall into any of those categories.

Posted by Jake at 01:10 AM | TrackBack (0)

Yep! You said that right.

Posted by: Woody at October 4, 2004 01:50 PM

I heard there was a pocket on the grassy knoll.

Posted by: michele at October 4, 2004 03:47 PM

It bugs that even Joe Scarborough and the neo-con National Review said W lost and people are still peddling the other way.

Joe Scarborough said "They need to make Americans forget what happened tonight" and "It was John Kerry¹s best performance ever as far as
the debate goes, I don¹t see how anybody could look at this debate and
not score this a very clear win on points for John Kerry.² (MSNBC)

Nat. Review: (Kate O'Beirne) National Review Online¹s the Corner: "I thought the
President was repetitive and reactive."

Jonah Goldberg, National Review Online's the Corner: "The Bush campaign
miscalculated on having the first night be foreign policy night."

Posted by: Buddy at October 4, 2004 04:25 PM

Personally, I always liked threatening people with the "Imperial Star Destroyer," because it was freaking huge. Why was it that it would "fall" when it got blown up in outer space, though?

Posted by: Tom at October 4, 2004 05:54 PM

I dont remember that- but how dare you question the physics of Star wars- last person to do that is now copyrighted by George Lucas and kept plastically seald and/or in carbornite in his underground musuem.

Posted by: Buddy at October 4, 2004 09:54 PM

Top Ten Reasons Paris Hilton Should Moderate the Next Debate

Paris swears by Mystic Tan, and Kerry could use some tips

Americans have the right to know where the candidates stand on the Tinkerbelle mystery

Reach out to the unregistered White Trash sector

Watching her try to follow the blinking lights would make the debate more interesting

Manolo Blahnik would really appreciate the product placement

Since it is unlikely that Paris reads newspapers, she could be counted on to be completely objective

Jim Lehrer lacks the appropriate shallowness

The farm family from Simple Life won't come unless she's there

It will do Nicole good to be on her own for a night

and the number one reason:

Paris could phrase the questions in a way Bush would understand

Posted by: DuctapeFatwa at October 4, 2004 11:40 PM

In general, yes, what matters to me is
what the candidates are going to do
about the economy, iraq, al quaeda,
terrorism, etc.


If Bush WAS wired, which seems like
a good chance, yow, sorry, that'll
cook it for a lot of folks in the middle.
Nobody other than rabid partisans
wants a puppet in the oval office.

-- stan

Posted by: Stan Krute at October 8, 2004 11:25 AM
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Lying Media Bastards is both a radio show and website. The show airs Mondays 2-4pm PST on KillRadio.org, and couples excellent music with angry news commentary. And the website, well, you're looking at it.

Both projects focus on our media-marinated world, political lies, corporate tyranny, and the folks fighting the good fight against these monsters.

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Media News

November 16, 2004

Tales of Media Woe

Senate May Ram Copyright Bill- one of the most depressing stories of the day that didn't involve death or bombs. It's the music and movie industries' wet dream. It criminalizes peer-to-peer software makers, allows the government to file civil lawsuits on behalf of these media industries, and eliminates fair use. Fair use is the idea that I can use a snippet of a copyrighted work for educational, political, or satirical purposes, without getting permission from the copyright-holder first.

And most tellingly, the bill legalizes technology that would automatically skip over "obejctionable content" (i.e. sex and violence) in a DVD, but bans devices that would automatically skip over commericals. This is a blatant, blatant, blatant gift to the movie industry. Fuck the movie industry, fuck the music industry, fuck the Senate.

Music industry aims to send in radio cops- the recording industry says that you're not allowed to record songs off the radio, be it real radio or internet radio. And now they're working on preventing you from recording songs off internet radio through a mixture of law and technological repression (although I imagine their techno-fixes will get hacked pretty quickly).

The shocking truth about the FCC: Censorship by the tyranny of the few- blogger Jeff Jarvis discovers that the recent $1.2 million FCC fine against a sex scene in Fox's "Married By America" TV show was not levied because hundreds of people wrote the FCC and complained. It was not because 159 people wrote in and complained (which is the FCC's current rationale). No, thanks to Jarvis' FOIA request, we find that only 23 people (of the show's several million viewers) wrote in and complained. On top of that, he finds that 21 of those letters were just copy-and-paste email jobs that some people attached their names to. Jarvis then spins this a bit by saying that "only 3" people actually wrote letters to the FCC, which is misleading but technically true. So somewhere between 3 and 23 angry people can determine what you can't see on television. Good to know.

Reuters Union Considers Striking Over Layoffs- will a strike by such a major newswire service impact the rest of the world's media?

Pentagon Starts Work On War Internet- the US military is talking about the creation of a global, wireless, satellite-aided computer network for use in battle. I think I saw a movie about this once...

Conservative host returns to the air after week suspension for using racial slur- Houston radio talk show host (and somtime Rush Limbaugh substitute) Mark Belling referred to Mexican-Americans as "wetbacks" on his show. He was suspended for a couple of weeks, and then submitted a written apology for the racial slur to a local newspaper. But he seems to be using the slur and its surrounding controversy to boost his conservative cred with his listeners.

Stay Tuned for Nudes- Cleveland TV news anchor Sharon Reed aired a story about artist Spencer Tunick, who uses large numbers of naked volunteers in his installations and photographs. The news report will be unique in that it will not blur or black-out the usual naughty bits. The story will air late at night, when it's allegedly okay with the FCC if you broadcast "indecent" material. The author of this article doesn't seem to notice that Reed first claims that this report is a publicity stunt, but then claims it's a protest against FCC repression. I'd like to think it's the latter, but I'm not that much of a sucker.

Posted by Jake at 04:02 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
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Mission: Mongolia

Jake's first attempt at homemade Mongolican barbecue:


What went right: correctly guessing several key seasonings- lemon, ginger, soy, garlic, chili.

What went wrong: still missing some ingredients, and possibly had one wrong, rice vinegar. Way too much lemon and chili.

Result: not entirely edible.

Plan for future: try to get people at Great Khan's restaurant to tell me what's in the damn sauce.

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