Lying Media Bastards: Snapshots Archive

November 26, 2004

Damn. That joke would have been much funnier if I'd said "apprentice" instead of "intern".

Posted by Jake at 12:08 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

November 22, 2004

Several years of mild sleep deprivation and only one hallucination? That's pretty good.

Posted by Jake at 10:43 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

November 17, 2004

Mission: Mongolia

Jake's first attempt at homemade Mongolican barbecue:

Failure.

What went right: correctly guessing several key seasonings- lemon, ginger, soy, garlic, chili.

What went wrong: still missing some ingredients, and possibly had one wrong, rice vinegar. Way too much lemon and chili.

Result: not entirely edible.

Plan for future: try to get people at Great Khan's restaurant to tell me what's in the damn sauce.

Posted by Jake at 12:30 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

November 11, 2004

It's good to know that with the slightest bit of effort, I can still get reallly, really lost in Los Angeles.

Posted by Jake at 12:23 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

November 06, 2004

I'm driving along and there's this ad on the radio for some kind of theater thing, "a reading of three plays by Native American authors". I zone out until the end of the ad, where they're talking about tickets, and they say, I shit you not, "Reservations recommended."

Posted by Jake at 10:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

October 13, 2004

I think I'm just gonna go ahead and declare myself a rock star. I can do that.

Posted by Jake at 08:12 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

September 25, 2004

Maybe I should just die young. It'd sure as hell make a lot of things easier.

Posted by Jake at 04:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

September 23, 2004

The guy's t-shirt is for a band called "Verbal Assault," but I misread it and think it says "Venereal Assault." Which is a great band name, and it's mine, and you can't have it.

Posted by Jake at 11:58 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

September 12, 2004

The "Harry Potter Dog": Polish sausage, grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, bacon & Nacho cheese (jalapenos 25 cents extra)

Posted by Jake at 01:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

August 27, 2004

So that's where my bathing suit was! In my bedroom, on top of the amplifier box, in the plastic shopping bag, with the beach towel and the package of miso soup!

Posted by Jake at 08:18 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

August 21, 2004

The three little girls stood on tiptoe beneath the street light, taping a flyer to the side of the lamp post. It was probably announcing a garage sale or lemonade stand, but I like to think that it was part of a cunning trap that would lure grown-ups to their deaths.

Posted by Jake at 01:37 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

July 29, 2004

So... there's only one flavor of Snapple, right? "Sugary"?

Posted by Jake at 04:13 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

July 07, 2004

I don't know anyone named Brandon. But the woman implored me, "Tell Brandon I said 'hi!'"

So Brandon, a crazy homeless lady over on Vermont Avenue says "hi."

Posted by Jake at 08:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 25, 2004

Don't know how much longer I can stand this jackhammer shit. YO!! JACKHAMMER GUY!! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!

Posted by Jake at 08:30 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 05, 2004

Watching "VH1's 100 Most Metal Moments", I was reminded of one important truth: Def Leppard really sucks.

Posted by Jake at 06:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

May 20, 2004

Even though I'm not bald, I'm thinking of trying a comb-over. And that doesn't even make sense.

Posted by Jake at 01:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

May 11, 2004

"Need" and "steam" do not rhyme, you coffeehouse poet bastard.

Posted by Jake at 12:38 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

May 09, 2004

The train has left the station, and we are slowly chugging along the secret back channels of downtown Los Angeles. I think about how bad my luck has been lately, and figure that my train will probably get in an accident. And for a split-second, I panic. Oh my god, we're gonna be hit for sure because I'm on this train!! How could I have been so thoughtless, I've doomed all these people to death!!

Posted by Jake at 12:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 29, 2004

To listen to the CD perched on my finger, I need to swap it for one of the 5 discs in the changer. Black Panther rap. Skip. Instrumental hip-hop. Skip. Funky white guy rap. Skip. New conscious political rap. Skip. Whoa, Cocteau Twins! "Which of these things is not like the others?" Swap. Cool, now I can listen to the "Fuck You, Pay Me" song.

(links included so you can play along at home)

Posted by Jake at 10:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 02, 2004

Burbank is a graveyard.

Posted by Jake at 08:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

March 15, 2004

Freeway, 75MPH, I suddenly wonder if i could steer the car with my teeth. When my open mouth is about 4 inches from the steering wheel, I realize this is crazy and stop.

About ten minutes later, I find myself bent forward, steering wheel in my teeth.

Man, I really need to start sleeping more.

Posted by Jake at 06:00 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

March 03, 2004

There's this guy on TV who's telling me that he wants to "take all the confusion out of buying a mattress." Thank god, cuz buying a mattress is like doing calculus and shit.

Posted by Jake at 04:31 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

February 18, 2004

As soon as I open the door, that cat's gonna get loose in the apartment, I just know it will.

Posted by Jake at 12:33 PM | Comments (0)

February 17, 2004

9pm- Play "Manhunt", video game where you stalk and murder gang members

10pm- "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"

11pm- "The Simpsons"

Posted by Jake at 10:13 PM | Comments (0)

Carrots = tasty

Posted by Jake at 10:12 PM | Comments (0)

February 11, 2004

I really haven't ingested enough caffiene to be this jittery.

Posted by Jake at 04:38 PM | Comments (0)

February 10, 2004

How do you say "Hmong" in Hmong?

"Hmoob."

(Sigh, no one's going to get that)

Posted by Jake at 05:31 PM | Comments (1)

February 06, 2004

What's the deal with cops and mustaches? Seriously.

Posted by Jake at 12:01 AM | Comments (0)

January 29, 2004

The new site is like 97% done. I wouldn't say that I'm excited about it, because I don't let myself get excited. But I am smiling like an idiot for no reason, so that's something.

Posted by Jake at 10:41 AM | Comments (0)

Lying Media Bastards is both a radio show and website. The show airs Mondays 2-4pm PST on KillRadio.org, and couples excellent music with angry news commentary. And the website, well, you're looking at it.

Both projects focus on our media-marinated world, political lies, corporate tyranny, and the folks fighting the good fight against these monsters.

All brought to you by Jake Sexton, The Most Beloved Man in America ģ.


contact: jake+at+lyingmediabastards.com

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Damn. That joke would have been much funnier if I'd said "apprentice" instead of "intern".

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