....LMB: "Lo, the Apocalypse!"....

February 05, 2004

In an unimaginable and totally predictable act of stupidity, Terri Carlin of Knoxville, Tennesee (home of the fabulous sunsphere), has filed a class action lawsuit against Janet Jackson's nipple. Or against CBS/Viacom, I forget. It's not important.

My favorite part is where the suit claims that the lewd and lascivious Super Bowl halftime show caused the millions who watched it to "suffer outrage, anger, embarrassment and serious injury." Serious injury? Apparently Jackson's nipple was not as benign as I thought. It must've jumped through people's TV screens and started bashing them on the head with candlesticks and whatnot.

Okay, that's a lie. That's not my favorite part of the lawsuit. My favorite part is when the plaintiff claims:

"because defendants knew that the Super Bowl and the Super Bowl half-time show would have a worldwide audience and knew that for much of the world, these events would reflect the standards and the reputation of Americans abroad, plaintiff and the members of the plaintiff class have been defamed by the defendants and have suffered injuries and damages to their reputations as Americans."

That might be the funniest lawsuit ever written.

Posted by Jake at 10:19 PM | TrackBack (1)

The rest of the world is so far behind us. They're still worrying about our military, and that's so cold-war. They haven't yet realized that our ultimate weapon is the frivolous lawsuit, which we are currently perfecting in our domestic arena. Once perfected, we will bring the world to its knees with bogus claims of injury, outrage and deserving. Bwoo-ha-ha-ha!

Posted by: John at February 6, 2004 02:15 PM

I know that most are wanting to get off this topic but something needs to be said about our reputation around the world. Having just spent 3 years living in Europe and another 2 in Asia, I gotta tell you that people laugh at how uptight we are over sex...Topless women adorn billboards just outside the Vatican in Rome and it is considered a delicacy to eat off a nude woman in Japan...This lawsuit is what hurts our reputation, not Janets teet. Someone should find this woman and force her to watch hours of French variety shows with the scantally clad women and men competing for silly prizes...And besides I got a feeling that this woman was probably one of the many who said "who cares what the rest of the world thinks" when they protested Iraq. Funny how somepeople in the U.S. will do anything to make a buck...Including jamming up our already overworked legal system...

Posted by: Matt G at February 7, 2004 04:50 PM

I think that the whole world realizes that American sophistication is a complete fraud. They want to defame Janet (by not giving her the benefit of the doubt) but they applaud women and men who marry (for money) individuals young enough to be their grandchildren. It's all about who can extort money and who can keep their foot on someone's neck the longest.

Posted by: Callie at February 10, 2004 05:55 AM
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Lying Media Bastards is both a radio show and website. The show airs Mondays 2-4pm PST on KillRadio.org, and couples excellent music with angry news commentary. And the website, well, you're looking at it.

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Media News

November 16, 2004

Tales of Media Woe

Senate May Ram Copyright Bill- one of the most depressing stories of the day that didn't involve death or bombs. It's the music and movie industries' wet dream. It criminalizes peer-to-peer software makers, allows the government to file civil lawsuits on behalf of these media industries, and eliminates fair use. Fair use is the idea that I can use a snippet of a copyrighted work for educational, political, or satirical purposes, without getting permission from the copyright-holder first.

And most tellingly, the bill legalizes technology that would automatically skip over "obejctionable content" (i.e. sex and violence) in a DVD, but bans devices that would automatically skip over commericals. This is a blatant, blatant, blatant gift to the movie industry. Fuck the movie industry, fuck the music industry, fuck the Senate.

Music industry aims to send in radio cops- the recording industry says that you're not allowed to record songs off the radio, be it real radio or internet radio. And now they're working on preventing you from recording songs off internet radio through a mixture of law and technological repression (although I imagine their techno-fixes will get hacked pretty quickly).

The shocking truth about the FCC: Censorship by the tyranny of the few- blogger Jeff Jarvis discovers that the recent $1.2 million FCC fine against a sex scene in Fox's "Married By America" TV show was not levied because hundreds of people wrote the FCC and complained. It was not because 159 people wrote in and complained (which is the FCC's current rationale). No, thanks to Jarvis' FOIA request, we find that only 23 people (of the show's several million viewers) wrote in and complained. On top of that, he finds that 21 of those letters were just copy-and-paste email jobs that some people attached their names to. Jarvis then spins this a bit by saying that "only 3" people actually wrote letters to the FCC, which is misleading but technically true. So somewhere between 3 and 23 angry people can determine what you can't see on television. Good to know.

Reuters Union Considers Striking Over Layoffs- will a strike by such a major newswire service impact the rest of the world's media?

Pentagon Starts Work On War Internet- the US military is talking about the creation of a global, wireless, satellite-aided computer network for use in battle. I think I saw a movie about this once...

Conservative host returns to the air after week suspension for using racial slur- Houston radio talk show host (and somtime Rush Limbaugh substitute) Mark Belling referred to Mexican-Americans as "wetbacks" on his show. He was suspended for a couple of weeks, and then submitted a written apology for the racial slur to a local newspaper. But he seems to be using the slur and its surrounding controversy to boost his conservative cred with his listeners.

Stay Tuned for Nudes- Cleveland TV news anchor Sharon Reed aired a story about artist Spencer Tunick, who uses large numbers of naked volunteers in his installations and photographs. The news report will be unique in that it will not blur or black-out the usual naughty bits. The story will air late at night, when it's allegedly okay with the FCC if you broadcast "indecent" material. The author of this article doesn't seem to notice that Reed first claims that this report is a publicity stunt, but then claims it's a protest against FCC repression. I'd like to think it's the latter, but I'm not that much of a sucker.

Posted by Jake at 04:02 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
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Mission: Mongolia

Jake's first attempt at homemade Mongolican barbecue:


What went right: correctly guessing several key seasonings- lemon, ginger, soy, garlic, chili.

What went wrong: still missing some ingredients, and possibly had one wrong, rice vinegar. Way too much lemon and chili.

Result: not entirely edible.

Plan for future: try to get people at Great Khan's restaurant to tell me what's in the damn sauce.

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