....LMB: "New Definitions of Homophobia"....

October 27, 2003

Rev. Stephen White (aka "Brother Stephen") was a preacher who would travel to college campuses on the eastern seaboard and give fiery, unsolicited sermons about the evils of homosexuality and promiscuity to college students who didn't really give a damn.

Which then makes it either shocking (or predictable) that he was recently arrested for trying to pay a 14 year old boy to let him suck his dick.

You've got to wonder what goes on in a man's head like this. He hated homosexuality so much that he decided to partake in it as some form of penance? He received a message from Jesus Christ saying "go suck that kid's schlong. Pay him if you have to"? After a painful back surgery, his doctor prescribed a regimen of underage gay sex and he became addicted to it?

Oh wait, I know what it is. Brother Stephen is a sick fuck.

I'll end with a letter:

Dear American clergy,

Please leave our children's penises alone.

Your pal,

Jake Sexton.

Posted by Jake at 09:04 PM | TrackBack (0)
Comments

there's enough of this private inversion of public mania coming to light to make one wonder if for instance Ann Coulter isn't taking payments to perform espionage from the N. Koreans and Libyans, or if perhaps Ralph Nader is not only a major slumlord and owner of toxic waste dumping sites but also a valued strategic consultant for the Heritage Foundation. I mean when god-fearing sin-hating 'Fishers of Men' turn out to be enabling camouflage for 'Fisters of Boys' what isn't possible?

Hell, imagine if for example our country was run by a bunch of bellicose yet oddly service-shy lying hucksters who set out to make the slightest expression of doubt regarding their endless jingoistic schemes for painting the planet red-white-and-blue with live munitions an all but treasonable invitation for self-righteous indignation and contempt from true freedom-loving American patriots?

Of course if such a man were to somehow become our unsuspecting nation's President (let's push the envelope and imagine him a pampered substance-abusing flop baselessly promoted even while shirking remarkably easy service during a deadly, if undeclared war against the mortal peril of aggressive communism (as he might fearlessly term it from half a world away)) I'm sure all flag-waving nation-proud true American patriots would find the integrity and guts to denounce such a smug, contemptible worm for trying to cynically play on their love of country for personal and party advantage. Geez, I can see it now, the callow wretch shamelessly trying to exploit his fumblingly mis-concealed record of disgraceful malingering (all but rubbing the noses of real heroes willingly offering real sacrifice to their nation in his brazen misuse of their patriotic devotion) by virtually faking a landing as a pilot on a Carrier as a staged climax to a staged war waged for staged reasons atop the bodies of real victims at huge cost to American credibility and reputation. Its easy to visualize the inevitable result: the despicable bastard would be hauled off to the ship's brig to face his just punishment as a Deserter drenched in the spit of the men and women whose honorable service he so callously betrayed.

Yeah, the boundaries of consensual reality may fluctuate a bit occasionally from preposterous pretense, but good ol' made-in-the-USA decency and common sense will always triumph, even if a tiny handful of unfortunates do end up ruthlessly buggered by deviously depraved lie-spouting pretenders to sacred virtue now and then. Can you summon a hearty 'Amen' to that fundamental fact, my truth and liberty-loving fellow citizens?

Posted by: Aghast yet comfy at October 28, 2003 06:26 AM

does aghast have a webpage? that was a great commentary he put in your comments.

Posted by: barbara at October 28, 2003 12:34 PM
Post a comment









Remember personal info?






Lying Media Bastards is both a radio show and website. The show airs Mondays 2-4pm PST on KillRadio.org, and couples excellent music with angry news commentary. And the website, well, you're looking at it.

Both projects focus on our media-marinated world, political lies, corporate tyranny, and the folks fighting the good fight against these monsters.

All brought to you by Jake Sexton, The Most Beloved Man in America ģ.


contact: jake+at+lyingmediabastards.com

Media News

November 16, 2004

Tales of Media Woe

Senate May Ram Copyright Bill- one of the most depressing stories of the day that didn't involve death or bombs. It's the music and movie industries' wet dream. It criminalizes peer-to-peer software makers, allows the government to file civil lawsuits on behalf of these media industries, and eliminates fair use. Fair use is the idea that I can use a snippet of a copyrighted work for educational, political, or satirical purposes, without getting permission from the copyright-holder first.

And most tellingly, the bill legalizes technology that would automatically skip over "obejctionable content" (i.e. sex and violence) in a DVD, but bans devices that would automatically skip over commericals. This is a blatant, blatant, blatant gift to the movie industry. Fuck the movie industry, fuck the music industry, fuck the Senate.

Music industry aims to send in radio cops- the recording industry says that you're not allowed to record songs off the radio, be it real radio or internet radio. And now they're working on preventing you from recording songs off internet radio through a mixture of law and technological repression (although I imagine their techno-fixes will get hacked pretty quickly).

The shocking truth about the FCC: Censorship by the tyranny of the few- blogger Jeff Jarvis discovers that the recent $1.2 million FCC fine against a sex scene in Fox's "Married By America" TV show was not levied because hundreds of people wrote the FCC and complained. It was not because 159 people wrote in and complained (which is the FCC's current rationale). No, thanks to Jarvis' FOIA request, we find that only 23 people (of the show's several million viewers) wrote in and complained. On top of that, he finds that 21 of those letters were just copy-and-paste email jobs that some people attached their names to. Jarvis then spins this a bit by saying that "only 3" people actually wrote letters to the FCC, which is misleading but technically true. So somewhere between 3 and 23 angry people can determine what you can't see on television. Good to know.

Reuters Union Considers Striking Over Layoffs- will a strike by such a major newswire service impact the rest of the world's media?

Pentagon Starts Work On War Internet- the US military is talking about the creation of a global, wireless, satellite-aided computer network for use in battle. I think I saw a movie about this once...

Conservative host returns to the air after week suspension for using racial slur- Houston radio talk show host (and somtime Rush Limbaugh substitute) Mark Belling referred to Mexican-Americans as "wetbacks" on his show. He was suspended for a couple of weeks, and then submitted a written apology for the racial slur to a local newspaper. But he seems to be using the slur and its surrounding controversy to boost his conservative cred with his listeners.

Stay Tuned for Nudes- Cleveland TV news anchor Sharon Reed aired a story about artist Spencer Tunick, who uses large numbers of naked volunteers in his installations and photographs. The news report will be unique in that it will not blur or black-out the usual naughty bits. The story will air late at night, when it's allegedly okay with the FCC if you broadcast "indecent" material. The author of this article doesn't seem to notice that Reed first claims that this report is a publicity stunt, but then claims it's a protest against FCC repression. I'd like to think it's the latter, but I'm not that much of a sucker.

Posted by Jake at 04:02 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
More Media News

Jake Jake Jake

 

Fake "Ha-Ha" News

News

 

Quotes

"8:45? And here I am yapping away like it's 8:35!"
-Ned Flanders

More Quotes

Media News

 

Obligatory Blog Links

 

Snapshots

Mission: Mongolia

Jake's first attempt at homemade Mongolican barbecue:

Failure.

What went right: correctly guessing several key seasonings- lemon, ginger, soy, garlic, chili.

What went wrong: still missing some ingredients, and possibly had one wrong, rice vinegar. Way too much lemon and chili.

Result: not entirely edible.

Plan for future: try to get people at Great Khan's restaurant to tell me what's in the damn sauce.

More Snapshots

Columnists Of Note

 

References

Sonic Resistance

 

Dead Trees

 

Heavy Rotation

Archives

 

Squiggles of Insight

SubvertWare

Credits

Design and Layout by Mark McLaughlin and Quang Tang
LMB Logo by Quang Tang

Alt "One Hell of a Leader" logo largely stolen from Obey Giant.
All other material by Jake Sexton (unless otherwise cited)

hosted by nice dream