How could a book about dogs, ducks and robots be so sad?
May 15, 2008
January 1, 2008
Two Guitar Hero controllers and two fake samurai swords in the living room. We are such nerds.
October 29, 2007
Overheard in my living room: “If you don’t wreck your bike, you don’t have to take Vicodin.”
September 17, 2007
Sadly, my site comes up very low when you google “Johnny Cash” and “dinosaurs”.
It looked like the two toothpaste tubes were kissing.
September 9, 2007
No band should ever play “Play That Funky Music” ever again.
September 7, 2007
About to shave with a razor with five blades. If I can’t see clear down to the jawbone by the time I’m done, I’ll be very disappointed.
September 4, 2007
My roommate’s snake has gotten loose in the apartment. Should make for an interesting evening.
May 22, 2007
So if I accidentally poke myself in the eye with a toothbrush full of whitening toothpaste, is that gonna make my eye turn white or red?
May 9, 2007
Then the little pug sprinted at me. Sprinted!
March 23, 2007
Wow, seven comic books in 20 minutes. I can accomplish a lot when I put my mind to it.
February 21, 2007
You, weird mystery bagel, can go straight to hell.
December 18, 2006
November 12, 2006
“DJs are audio furniture,” I said. Which is true, unless one of those DJs starts playing big booty bass and the crowd has been drinking.
October 4, 2006
For a brief, mad second, I wondered if I could somehow use the flashlight beam to counter the lightwaves coming at my eyes and eliminate my need for sunglasses.
September 20, 2006
Yay! Privacy! Coziness! I will celebrate by tilting my chair.
August 31, 2006
Bugs own this planet. We’re just visiting.
July 28, 2006
Ha! In your face, Fuel Light!
July 9, 2006
Apparently this is the place to go when you want sushi just like the Spanish conquistadors used to make.
July 3, 2006
The boy and his father carefully buried the younger brother under a pile of sand, with just his head peeking out. He lay there, eyes closed peacefully.
Then, after the father had walked away, the older brother began slowing pouring a bucket of water onto the head of his captive sibling.
June 16, 2006
May 24, 2006
The good news is, the pantry is a little less cluttered. The bad news is, I’m eating Rice-a-Roni at 1 in the morning.
April 4, 2006
So I’m looking at a picture of Mickey Mouse, and I realize that while most of his body is black (his “fur”, I guess), his face is fleshtone. His whole face. And I realize that a real mouse like Mickey would have dark fur all over his body, but have a bald, naked face. That’s fucking grotesque.
March 25, 2006
So many bad mohawks.
March 17, 2006
“Thanks for making those brownies,” said the gruff woman as the group exited towards the parking lot.
“Well, Thursday nights are slow”, smiled the brownie-maker, “and you kind of need a pinch of sugar to get through it.”
I figured it would be simpler to just leave a bag of sugar and a spoon in the employee lounge.