Lying Media Bastards

December 5, 2011

Free $50/hr Speech

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When we last left Gov. Scott Walker, he had dressed up like Santa Claus, and was preparing to descend upon the Whos of Whosconsin, to take all their presents and take their roast beast…

Wait, no, wrong guy.

Scott Walker, as you’ll recall (please!), ran for governor of Wisconsin as a Jeewhiz Folksy Downhome Republican. But after taking office, he ripped off his human outer covering to reveal the authoritarian Godzilla underneath, slashing taxes for the rich, cutting services for the poor, firing government workers en masse, and trying to end all public sector unions in the state. Understandably, the folks of Wisconsin were furious and scared, held massive protests for weeks, and are now attempting to get him ousted early (see earlier minor “recall” pun).

Walker is now unleashing his new Shut Up Hippies policy: if you want to protest against him, you have to pay money.

It’s bullshit on its face, with a few tiny fig leafs of logic, which also turn out to be bullshit after thinking about them for 40 seconds.

1) If a group of four or more people want to protest outside of any state building, they need to get a permit. And need to apply at least 72 hours in advance.
2) If more than 100 people want to protest outside the state capitol, they will have to pay for any extra police officers that are “required”, at a cost of $50 per cop, per hour. In advance.
3) Protesters could be billed for the costs to clean up any mess that government officials claim was left behind after the protest.

That’s an embarassingly self-serving rule. Who proposed it? Scott Walker. Who benefits from it? Scott Walker.

In conclusion, I am announcing that anyone who has every criticized me now owes me $10. I’ll be around shortly to collect.

Posted by Jake on December 5, 2011 11:06 am


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