But get this: I’m not a wingnut. I’m not even conservative. I’m pro-gay marriage, pro-choice, I believe that global warming is real and that humans are the cause, I’m against state-sanctioned torture, and if I lived in America I’d have voted for Obama, even taking into account his desire to sweeten diplomatic relationships with Iran, because I acknowledge that since we all share the same planet it’s important for EVERYONE to talk to each other, even if some of the people talking are assholes. So suck my dick because I’m not a wingnut.

I am, however, intelligent enough to make up my own fucking mind about political issues and if that means disagreeing with people who I often agree with on the subject of US foreign policy then that’s what I’m going to do, because I’m not one of Michael Moore’s brainwashed monkey people. It’s equal parts amusing and frightening that the typical left-wing fringe media consumer is too prejudiced, lazy, ignorant and stupid to tell the difference.

The only reason I stress out so much about the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq is because it’s becoming more clear every day that the vast majority of America’s people, liberal, conservative or otherwise have absolutely no fucking clue what they are talking about, and depressingly for the rest of the world, it’s the decisions that people like you make that ultimately affect the rest of us.

If you don’t believe anything I said in my last comment, take 5 minutes to verify it on the internet, because that’s what free press is for (something the Iranians can only dream about in between their president shutting down Facebook whenever it’s convenient for him).

Good points all, Jake. Glad to have you back, even in small doses

1) It’s not that America is afraid of Iran – the nation – launching a formal nuclear attack against the US in a military fashion, it’s that the middle east is a politically volatile region, and there’s every chance of nuclear technology landing in the wrong hands inadvertently. And no, that’s NOT absurd and paranoid. If you’ve been watching the news lately, you’ll know that Pakistan - a nuclear country - is facing a very real threat of Taliban invasion, and if the Taliban gets nukes you can kiss your bleeding heart bye-byes. But agreed about the “viewing Iranians as actual people” thing. Fair enough.

2) While Americans can often be arrogant assholes (case in point – have you noticed that American shows always get aired in other countries in their original US culture form, but foreign shows always get “adapted” for American audiences? E.g. The Office), this is usually nothing more than a mild annoyance and is hardly comparable to having the “audacity” to guess that Iranians would PROBABLY enjoy, say, freedom of speech. Iran does not even have elections – nobody is even allowed to RUN unless Khomeini says it’s OK in advance. An Iranian on the news the other day said they have “selections” not “elections”. Iranians are not given a CHANCE to “decide what’s best for themselves” – they decide what’s “best for themselves” AFTER the supreme leader has already narrowed it down to 4 people that don’t piss him off too much. Fair enough, free election democracy does not meet the will of its people PERFECTLY but considering that modern western nations have the highest standard of living the world has ever seen (yes, even the ghetto dwelling “poor” people), not to mention the fairest legal system the world has ever seen, and some of the best regional political stability the world has ever seen, I do declare that you are talking out of your ass here.

3) If you, as an American, really want to help the Iranians, you can sneak into Iran and shoot the supreme leader in the face. That’s about your best hope. The incumbent Iranian government are complete propagandist assholes, and if you try to say anything to support the protesters they’ll cry crocodile tears about that thing America played a role in 60 years ago. In Iran, when a native born IRANIAN police officer guns down a native born IRANIAN protester on the streets of IRAN, the government actually manages to convince people that it is AMERICA’S fault for “meddling” in Iran’s affairs and stirring up shit. Obama didn’t even COMMENT on the Iranian protests until AFTER the Iranian government had already blamed the uprising on “western meddling”. Imagine the reverse – imagine if a US cop shot an innocent US citizen somewhere in America, and Obama said “it’s not our fault, the Iranians made us do it!”

4) I agree with this. Pat on the back. Except that Khomeini is NEVER EVER going to call another election EVER. Someone high up in the government is going to have to overthrow him somehow (BTW did you know that he’s not even a real Ayatollah? Apparently he’s not even properly qualified for even that extremely corrupt position).

5) Fun fact: The Taliban is alive and well, and as mentioned above, is currently trying to invade Pakistan, who have many many many nuclear weapons. The war isn’t over, and going home now would be suicidally idiotic. If the US and its allies REALLY want to impress the Muslim world, their best chance would be to FINISH THE FUCKING JOB and bring stability to both of those countries, and no, there’s absolutely no fucking chance that the countries are going to stabilise on their own – and if you want proof of that, just look at all the shit that is happening in Iran RIGHT NOW. (Alternatively, look at, oh I dunno, the last 30 years of middle eastern history – in case you’ve forgotten, Afghanistan has been at war since 1978. Don’t believe me? Google “Afghan civil war”. Yes that’s right, contrary to popular idiotic bleeding heart belief, the war in Afghanistan did not begin in 2001 and the violence is not America’s fault. The west just joined in the fun. And after 8 years of involvement, Afghanistan is starting to see it’s first REAL chance of freedom, and that chance will be completely erased if the West leaves now, like chickenshit limpdick cocksuckers).

And that is what I have finally decided to say about Iran and the middle east. Sorry it happened to you, but I was going to tell something like this to someone eventually.

Later alligator