Lying Media Bastards

June 22, 2009

A Few Thoughts on Iran

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1) Although America seems now quite taken with the brave political protesters of Iran, until very recently, the country talked quite seriously about killing hundreds of thousands of them in a military invasion because they could, at some point, develop nuclear weapons, which they could then possibly use against the United States, although it wouldn’t make any sense for them to do so, and would guarantee retaliation from the United States in the form of nuclear hell. But I am very pleased that this popular uprising has inspired the news media to cover Iran like it was made up of actual people.

2) It’s a little frustrating that while the American public seems to be on the side of the protesters, there still seems to be a real disconnect. Americans seem to want the Iranian people to have what we Americans want, not what the Iranian people want for themselves. Americans have already decided that our brand of Free Election Democracy is what is best for all people everywhere, no matter what they may think they want (although they do, when not in this mode, acknowledge that the American political system is riddled with corruption, and doesn’t actually represent the will of its citizens). Thinking that you know what’s best for someone else, without pausing to think that maybe they know what’s best for themselves is part of this “American arrogance” we sometimes hear about. Not entirely our fault, we’re propagandized into thinking this since the time we are very young.

3) I’m really not sure what me and my fellow Americans should do if we truly want to help the Iranians. To be honest, I haven’t heard much in the way of Iranians asking for help. Clearly, all of the heavy work and sacrifice will have to be done in Iran by Iranians. Even worse, any public support by Americans can help the Iranian government to paint the protesters as Western puppets and claim that the whole movement is just another sneaky American regime change plot. I salute the folks who are providing telecommunications help (getting around censorship, etc.), but this may be a case where taking to the streets and marching outside in solidarity might do real harm.

4) Obviously, no one knows how this is going to turn out. At this point, it seems like either the government will crack down hard, and force an end to the protests through violence and fear. Or the schisms among political players and authority figures will grow wider, giving the protesters continued breathing room to keep the pressure on. But I don’t see this ending well for the protesters unless Supreme Leader Khamenei gets ousted, or his rivals (in the Iranian theological apparatus) become powerful enough to frighten him into calling for a new election.

5) Fun fact: did you know that the US is still occupying Iraq and Afganistan? If you watched the mainstream news, you might have forgotten.

Posted by Jake on June 22, 2009 9:34 pm


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    Dear Mr. Blogger Man,

    1) It’s not that America is afraid of Iran – the nation – launching a formal nuclear attack against the US in a military fashion, it’s that the middle east is a politically volatile region, and there’s every chance of nuclear technology landing in the wrong hands inadvertently. And no, that’s NOT absurd and paranoid. If you’ve been watching the news lately, you’ll know that Pakistan - a nuclear country - is facing a very real threat of Taliban invasion, and if the Taliban gets nukes you can kiss your bleeding heart bye-byes. But agreed about the “viewing Iranians as actual people” thing. Fair enough.

    2) While Americans can often be arrogant assholes (case in point – have you noticed that American shows always get aired in other countries in their original US culture form, but foreign shows always get “adapted” for American audiences? E.g. The Office), this is usually nothing more than a mild annoyance and is hardly comparable to having the “audacity” to guess that Iranians would PROBABLY enjoy, say, freedom of speech. Iran does not even have elections – nobody is even allowed to RUN unless Khomeini says it’s OK in advance. An Iranian on the news the other day said they have “selections” not “elections”. Iranians are not given a CHANCE to “decide what’s best for themselves” – they decide what’s “best for themselves” AFTER the supreme leader has already narrowed it down to 4 people that don’t piss him off too much. Fair enough, free election democracy does not meet the will of its people PERFECTLY but considering that modern western nations have the highest standard of living the world has ever seen (yes, even the ghetto dwelling “poor” people), not to mention the fairest legal system the world has ever seen, and some of the best regional political stability the world has ever seen, I do declare that you are talking out of your ass here.

    3) If you, as an American, really want to help the Iranians, you can sneak into Iran and shoot the supreme leader in the face. That’s about your best hope. The incumbent Iranian government are complete propagandist assholes, and if you try to say anything to support the protesters they’ll cry crocodile tears about that thing America played a role in 60 years ago. In Iran, when a native born IRANIAN police officer guns down a native born IRANIAN protester on the streets of IRAN, the government actually manages to convince people that it is AMERICA’S fault for “meddling” in Iran’s affairs and stirring up shit. Obama didn’t even COMMENT on the Iranian protests until AFTER the Iranian government had already blamed the uprising on “western meddling”. Imagine the reverse – imagine if a US cop shot an innocent US citizen somewhere in America, and Obama said “it’s not our fault, the Iranians made us do it!”

    4) I agree with this. Pat on the back. Except that Khomeini is NEVER EVER going to call another election EVER. Someone high up in the government is going to have to overthrow him somehow (BTW did you know that he’s not even a real Ayatollah? Apparently he’s not even properly qualified for even that extremely corrupt position).

    5) Fun fact: The Taliban is alive and well, and as mentioned above, is currently trying to invade Pakistan, who have many many many nuclear weapons. The war isn’t over, and going home now would be suicidally idiotic. If the US and its allies REALLY want to impress the Muslim world, their best chance would be to FINISH THE FUCKING JOB and bring stability to both of those countries, and no, there’s absolutely no fucking chance that the countries are going to stabilise on their own – and if you want proof of that, just look at all the shit that is happening in Iran RIGHT NOW. (Alternatively, look at, oh I dunno, the last 30 years of middle eastern history – in case you’ve forgotten, Afghanistan has been at war since 1978. Don’t believe me? Google “Afghan civil war”. Yes that’s right, contrary to popular idiotic bleeding heart belief, the war in Afghanistan did not begin in 2001 and the violence is not America’s fault. The west just joined in the fun. And after 8 years of involvement, Afghanistan is starting to see it’s first REAL chance of freedom, and that chance will be completely erased if the West leaves now, like chickenshit limpdick cocksuckers).

    And that is what I have finally decided to say about Iran and the middle east. Sorry it happened to you, but I was going to tell something like this to someone eventually.

    Later alligator

    Comment by Randy — June 23, 2009 @ 4:58 am

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    Wow… that was a quick response from wingnutville.

    Good points all, Jake. Glad to have you back, even in small doses :)

    Comment by Jon — June 23, 2009 @ 7:08 am

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    Based on Jon’s response, I’m assuming that Jon just read the first two sentences, branded it as a letter from the Mayor of Wingnutville, looked at the length of my response, and quickly decided that his time would be better spent trawling the net for porn because thinking about politics makes Jon sleepy. It’s nice to know what I said had such a dramatic effect on the first guy who read it.

    But get this: I’m not a wingnut. I’m not even conservative. I’m pro-gay marriage, pro-choice, I believe that global warming is real and that humans are the cause, I’m against state-sanctioned torture, and if I lived in America I’d have voted for Obama, even taking into account his desire to sweeten diplomatic relationships with Iran, because I acknowledge that since we all share the same planet it’s important for EVERYONE to talk to each other, even if some of the people talking are assholes. So suck my dick because I’m not a wingnut.

    I am, however, intelligent enough to make up my own fucking mind about political issues and if that means disagreeing with people who I often agree with on the subject of US foreign policy then that’s what I’m going to do, because I’m not one of Michael Moore’s brainwashed monkey people. It’s equal parts amusing and frightening that the typical left-wing fringe media consumer is too prejudiced, lazy, ignorant and stupid to tell the difference.

    The only reason I stress out so much about the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq is because it’s becoming more clear every day that the vast majority of America’s people, liberal, conservative or otherwise have absolutely no fucking clue what they are talking about, and depressingly for the rest of the world, it’s the decisions that people like you make that ultimately affect the rest of us.

    If you don’t believe anything I said in my last comment, take 5 minutes to verify it on the internet, because that’s what free press is for (something the Iranians can only dream about in between their president shutting down Facebook whenever it’s convenient for him).

    Comment by Randy — June 23, 2009 @ 10:51 pm

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