Lying Media Bastards

July 4, 2008

Axis of 80s Action Movie Henchmen

School locked down after ‘ninja’ sighted in woods

Yes folks, school officials in New Jersey actually felt that an alleged ninja sighting was enough of a security threat to shut the school down.

Ninjas.

Sweet fucking christ.

It reminds me of an interesting essay I read recently which argued that the US has as a sort of “autoimmune disease, where an organism’s defense system goes into overdirve so much that it fails to recognize itself and attacks its own cells.” In some ways, that seems amazingly accurate. All manner of police, security and authority officials live on a hair trigger, and will attack their fellow citizens rather than actual threats.

Of course, this analogy breaks down quickly when you realize that America’s police, security, and authority officials don’t actually exist to protect the “body” or its “cells”, but to mantain public compliance with a system of rules and structures that benefit their ideological masters and the guys who sign their paychecks.

In conclusion, ninjas are awesome.

Posted by Jake on July 4, 2008 4:43 pm

July 2, 2008

Maybe We’re Not Doomed

For, well, years now, there has been plenty of reason to worry that the US was going to embark upon a war with Iran. And when I say “embark”, I mean “launch a full-fledged air assault that would inevitably kill thousands and thousands of innocent Iranians, inviting the retaliation of Iran, Iranian-supported terror groups around the world, the Shiite majority surrounding American troops in Iraq, and all angry Muslims on planet Earth.”

There has been even more reason to be scared lately, with the revelation by journalist Seymour Hersh that the Bush administration has already budgeted $400 million this year to “prepare the battlefield”, supporting various dissident/terrorist groups inside Iran to “destabilize” the government.

But now, the good news. Apparently, the Iranian government has “agreed to freeze its enrichment program for six weeks and begin negotiations with the P5+1 group of states as early as next week” (”P5+1″ being the US, France, Russia, China, Germany and the UK).

This is a positive direction, in that it takes away the major US excuse for invading Iran. Of course, the real reason that the US wants to invade Iran is to destroy its influence and power in the Middle East (”damn Iranians, thinking they’ve got the right to make decisions about their nation, their resources, and the general neighborhood they live in!”), so it might simply be a matter of moving on to the next excuse to put their plans of idiot stupid evil into action. I mean, when the US screeched about Iraq’s WMDs, Saddam Hussein’s move to allow weapons inspectors into the country should have cooled down the war fever. But goddamit, we were determined to bring death daisycutters depleted uranium-tipped anti-tank shells torture DEMOCRACY to the not-suffering-enough-yet people of Iraq.

In conclusion, I am less scared tonight of an assault on Iran than I was this morning, possibly for no good reason.

Posted by Jake on July 2, 2008 10:35 pm

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