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My car got stolen today.
Clearly, I have angered the Car Gods, as the automobiles I own like to smack me around and then kick me when I’m down. Those of you who followed LMB: Los Angeles may remember the time that someone broke into my carport stole my car battery. Or when someone stole the whole thing from a Burbank parking lot about a year later (although police recovered it the same day). Or two weeks after that, when I was hit by an SUV (I was found to be at fault for the accident, of course). And although the damage was slight, but the car insurance company decided to have the car pulped instead of fixed (ironically, it would have been better if the cops hadn’t found my car at all). Then there was that time a car pantsed me in front of the prettiest girl in school. And that time when a car shot me in Reno just to watch me die. And let’s not forget my latest car (purchased with the insurance money from the SUV-smooshed car) which now seems to be my ex-car. It’s likely at a chop shop as we speak, where its parts will be used to fix a car that will run me off the road in a couple of weeks.
Just a thought: both times my cars were stolen, I had parked in the large parking lot of a shopping center, went inside, returned to my car, and then resumed shopping. I wonder if that is a sign to potential car thieves, “if he’s coming back to stash things in his car, he’s probably going to be inside for a long time, and I will have plenty of time to steal his car.” I’d advise y’all to not do that.
Hopefully, this theft won’t be too painful. My insurance seems to cover 30 days of car rental, so I’ll be re-wheeled by tomorrow morning. Which is a good thing, as the insurance company seems likely to wait 30 days before giving me any money, to see if the police do indeed find it. Not sure what I would’ve done if I didn’t have this rental thing.
In conclusion, I DEFY YOU, CAR GODS!!!
Heh. I am now driving a rented PT Cruiser. The interior looks like they wanted to appeal to would-be hipsters, and the outside looks like someone squashed a hippo and put chrome on it.
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