Lying Media Bastards

March 29, 2006

Mr. Scumbag Goes to Jail

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Jack Abramoff gets almost 6 years in jail for fraud (they got themselves a loan of $60 million by forging documents that made it look like they’d spent $23 million on partial purchase of a casino cruise company). It seems that he was up to all kinds of other shady stuff, but this was the easiest indictment to nail him with.

(Amusingly, some CNN headlines are referring to him as “disgraced lobbyist”, as though bribing legislators the legal way was some sort of noble profession)

In my opinion, bribery in Congress is pretty much the norm, and at such low rates! But Abramoff was extra scummy. I only bring it up because I have the facts of one of Ambramaoof’s more appalling cases at my fingertips here, and I may as well share.

The Louisiana Coushatta tribe had a casino right near the Texas border, and they wanted to drive a new competitor, a casino called Speaking Rock run by the struggling Tigua tribe in Texas, out of the game. The Coushatta turned to lobbyist Ralph Reed, former head of the Christian Coalition, who in turn put them in touch with Abramoff. Abramoff then helped engineer a lawsuit by the Texas Attorney General to shut down Speaking Rock. During this time, Reed was duping his religious contacts in Texas to get behind the lawsuit, along moral grounds– for his casino clients in Lousiana. The lawsuit won, and Speaking Rock shut down in 2002.

Abramoff then contacted the Tigua and offered to lobby on their behalf for free, in attempt to get their casino back– but they’d have to hire this PR guy he knew, and his firm would cost $4.2 million. The Tigua agreed and paid Michael Scanlon the money; Scanlon then cut Abramoff a check for $2.1 million, a 50-50 split. Ambramoff then convinced the Tigua to donate $32,000 to Rep. Bob Ney’s campaign, and another $100,000 to fund a golfing trip for Ney to Scotland. Ney brought Ralph Reed and Jack Abramoff with him. And all this time, Ambramoff & co. knew that the Tigua had no chance of getting their casino back (so it wasn’t really a bribe, just a con job).

And remember, this is just one of Abramoff’s schemes. I imagine he had others, involvign pushing pregnant women down the stairs, and stealing the wallets of people in comas.

[info stolen/summarized from Al Franken’s “The Truth (with Jokes)”]

Posted by Jake on March 29, 2006 5:04 pm


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