Lying Media Bastards

February 25, 2006

Wile E. O’Reilly, Super Genius

Keith Olbermann is a reporter and former sportscaster who hosts the daily news & opinion show Countdown on MSNBC. Olbermann seems mildly liberal, has a decent sense of humor, and has frequently mocked Bill O’Reilly, often featuring the pundit in Countdown’s “Worst Person in the World” segment. This could be politics, or it could be professional rivalry, as both of their shows air at the same time on two different networks.

I think all of Olbermann’s mockery has gotten to O’Reilly, because he has launched a new crusade He has posted this bizarre petition on his website, essentially asking MSNBC to fire Olbermann. In it, the right-wing O’Reilly expresses “concern” for the news network, and points out how much better ratings the network had when the politically progressive Phil Donahue held Olbermann’s timeslot (although, of course, the petition does not mention Olbermann by name). O’Reilly then speaks gravely of the “injustice” of MSNBC’s firing of Donahue back in 2003, and urges the network to restore him to his former time slot.

(To Olbermann’s credit, the day after O’Reilly announced the petition on his show, Olbermann reported about it on his own show, and signed the petition himself live on the air.)

Jesus, how pathetic! “Please MSNBC, please fire the bad man who makes the jokes about me!”

I wonder if O’Reilly thinks he’s cunning here. “I can’t just ask for them to fire Olbermann… but what if I instead innocently asked MSNBC to hire a new host… and air his show at the same time as Olbermann’s? O’Reilly, you diabolical… Wait! If I ask them to put Phil Donahue in that slot, maybe I can enlist the help of Donahue-loving liberals, who in no way will see through my pitifully transparent ploy! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

See, that’s why O’Reilly’s head is so freakishly big. It’s full of smarts.

Posted by Jake on February 25, 2006 1:30 pm

1 Comment »

  1. I really do think O’Reilly should wear some sort of helmet on the air. He’s so focused in his retardedness that there truely should be some sort of outward sign of it.

    Comment by BigHeathenMike — February 26, 2006 @ 10:37 am

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