Lying Media Bastards

November 7, 2005

And On the Eighth Day, He Took It All Back

This sounds like a hoax, but I think it’s legit.

Catholic Church no longer swears by truth of the Bible

Apparently, a bunch of Catholic bishops from the UK got together and wrote a “teaching document” called “The Gift of Scripture”, part of which claims that you can’t take every part of the Bible literally. And I don’t know my Catholic hierarchy, but I think these guys have authority to speak on behalf of the Church. Ergo, the Catholic Church is saying that parts of the Bible are kinda not true.

As examples of passages not to be taken literally, the bishops cite the early chapters of Genesis, comparing them with early creation legends from other cultures, especially from the ancient East. The bishops say it is clear that the primary purpose of these chapters was to provide religious teaching and that they could not be described as historical writing.

Similarly, they refute the apocalyptic prophecies of Revelation, the last book of the Christian Bible, in which the writer describes the work of the risen Jesus, the death of the Beast and the wedding feast of Christ the Lamb.

The bishops say: “Such symbolic language must be respected for what it is, and is not to be interpreted literally. We should not expect to discover in this book details about the end of the world, about how many will be saved and about when the end will come.”

The bishops also seem to question the truth of the more misogynist parts of Genesis, and parts where Jews are cursed for the murder of Jesus. Their explanations are vague (well, I haven’t read the document, all my analysis is coming off of news articles about it), but it seems to fall under the category of “you’re always gonna get errors translating from God’s Word to human language.”

Which you’d think means that the entire Biblical text is suspect.

Which I do.

Posted by Jake on November 7, 2005 9:52 pm


  1. Bravo!

    …And yet Condoms still cause AIDS.

    I guess they’ve decided to phase out the older myths for hipper, more recent ones.

    Comment by William Gillis — November 8, 2005 @ 10:37 am

  2. A group of ‘Catholic’ (would that be ‘Roman Catholic’ Bishops?) you say? Yeah, that sounds like par for (their) course. With hearts like those…faith lies dead at their feet!
    Love ya…

    Comment by Al Byrnand — November 8, 2005 @ 6:43 pm

  3. …Al, are you trying to make some sense?

    Comment by Robby Simpson — November 9, 2005 @ 8:53 pm

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