Lying Media Bastards

April 19, 2005

Whitey McWhite Named New Pope

And I was so sure that the black or latino guy was gonna get it! Surprisingly, they instead gave the position to the second-most powerful man at the Vatican. Go figger.

The new pope picked a new pope name, Benedict XVI, which is way cooler than his previous name of Joe Rat-zinger. Benedict XVI comes in at the spry age of 78.

Less surprisingly, Ratzinger turns out to be an asshole.

In the Vatican, he has been the driving force behind crackdowns on liberation theology, religious pluralism, challenges to traditional moral teachings on issues such as homosexuality, and dissent on such issues as women’s ordination.

Liberation theology was the school of thought primarily in Latin America that maybe it wasn’t right for the people to be crushed by the iron fist of the military juntas and death squads, and supported the average person’s struggle for justice, equality and democracy. Ratzinger apparently led the Vatican’s movement to beat it down.

Religious pluralism is the idea that people of different faiths or demoninations can live in harmony. Guess Ratzinger didn’t like that.

And of course he was homophobic and doesn’t like the idea that God holds men and women in equal esteem. Neat.

Meet the new boss, same as old boss.

And a billion people are gonna follow this guy’s teachings. Even worse, they’re going to believe that he’s God’s head middle manager?

I’ll never understand religious people. Never.


Yes, I guess I did miss the point. The Vatican skips over the black and latino candidates and selects the guy who fought for the Nazis. Ratzinger claims that he was in the Hitler Youth because it was mandatory, that he was drafted into the German military during WWII, but that he wasn’t a Nazi and opposed what they stood for. But then, what else could he say?


Posted by Jake on April 19, 2005 5:44 pm


  1. Well, there’s a difference between being religious and being an aherent of a religion which requires obedience to a strict heirarchy. And even within the Catholic church, there are plenty of rebllious souls - afterall, Catholicism is the religion that gave us Liberation Theology in the first place. So, religious people, or religious people who settle for spoon-feeding their religious ideology?

    Comment by Kaz — April 19, 2005 @ 6:12 pm

  2. i dont know what that previous post is trying to say, but i think you missed the part about how this motherfucker actually was part of the hitler youth, served in hitler’s army, and somehow is absolved for his fascism because he deserted < !> i think the fact he was a _nazi_ explains a lot. like his nickname: god’s rottweiler.

    Comment by kittie — April 19, 2005 @ 9:38 pm

  3. Oh my god, you’re made of candy? Stop it, you’re killing me.

    Comment by Piper — April 19, 2005 @ 10:02 pm

  4. huh?

    Comment by kittie — April 19, 2005 @ 10:27 pm

  5. Hey Jake, long time no read. Your blog has had some good insights on the news in the past, I thought you’d appreciate my take on this.

    I would like to know what authenticated written record exists (a diary like Anne Frank’s would be nice, but I’m not counting on one existing) of his activities around the time he was in the Hitler Youth, which according to the Yahoo article was in the early 1940s. I don’t mean his father’s statements and writings, I mean Ratzinger’s, in his own words (as others would recall them) and writings. He was born in 1927, so in 1940 he would have been what…13?

    The Yahoo article Jake linked to above goes on to say he was reportedly conscripted to serve in an anti-aircraft unit guarding a BMW plant in 1943, when he would have been 16. It’s possible that he lived a moral life, as he father was supposed to have lived, according to what is likely an inevitably self-serving and edited version of his life story, as he gave in a book published in 1996 called “Salz der Erde” (Salt of the Earth). I’m trying to get a copy, and I’ll try also to resist the urge to spin it as positively from a perspective of a person of faith as I was the election of Bush last November.

    Again, I want references…footnotes…something authentic, verifiable, essentially scientific. I know we can’t change history, and people who try to interpret it in critical or radical ways are vulnerable to being accused of revisionism. To avoid that charge, what do you think are the chances that the new pope (or at least his young followers), with today’s open-source, client-centric, creatively communal technology might choose to “blog” their diaries in the future?

    I’m trying to not be sarcastic. Really.

    Anyway, given that there really were few alternatives to resist the Nazis during WWII within Germany, especially as a child, his activities and membership in the Hitler Youth might have been for what options were open to him (and his family) as moral as if he had joined the Boy Scouts.

    On the bright side, I think it could likely be said that he’s about as likely to support war and capital punishment as he is to support overtly fascist ideology, but I’d also expect — and I think we’re seeing — that his background also leads logically to him supporting draconian policies against not only abortion rights but also contraception rights for young, poor, and unmarried women.

    I think that Cardinal Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI, has a very well developed conscience, laid down in his early teens as he grew up in Nazi Germany, but it’s very likely that his upbringing has also given him little appreciation for the good that strong central policies for economic welfare/justice and support for nondirective, comprehensive reproductive health care services through regulated PUBLIC health care services. And I want to stress PUBLIC, because while contraception and abortion was certainly available through private (and uncertain, if not outright criminal and dangerous) means — Anais Nin and her cohorts, or whoever may still be living today, could attest to that – but even in Nazi Germany, the state certainly absolutely did not sanction it as an option for women in general, especially young, poor, unmarried women.

    (begin blog break)

    Comment by southern students for choice — April 20, 2005 @ 1:12 pm

  6. I don’t have anything substantive to say about this, just a joke I heard a comedian tell last night:

    “True, the Pope was in the Hitler Youth, but you have to understand that back then, if you weren’t in the Hitler Youth, it was much more difficult to harm Jews.”

    Comment by Paul Rhead — April 21, 2005 @ 2:27 pm

  7. Or as Jon Stewart called him..

    Joey Ratz!

    Comment by Chardos — April 22, 2005 @ 6:33 pm

  8. Actually, you could stay out of the Hitler Youth for the duration of the Third Reich, but you couldn’t dodge military service. As for the the Boy Scouts, the Nazi’s banned both them and any other non-Nazi youth movement, forcing young people who wanted such a movemment to join the Hitler Youth. Even if he had nothing to do with WW II, the Pope is still an asshole in my book for fighting liberation thology.

    Comment by mr. mike — April 23, 2005 @ 4:50 pm

  9. Let’s not forget that Pope Rat also helped elect GW Bush (finally) by telling American Catholics in the run-up to the ‘04 electeion that it would be a sin to support a politician who “supports” abortion. Curiously, not so for voting for politicians who launch wars or execute the retarded. Sound like he was talking about any particular candidates?

    Comment by shep — April 25, 2005 @ 12:40 pm

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