Lying Media Bastards

January 24, 2005

Gourmet Conspiracies

I have been to a number of grocery stores in southern California, and have found a puzzle.

Most upscale markets have in their produce section, an “olive bar”– a small table or display where you can choose from a wide variety of exotic olives. No other produce gets this sort of treatment.

I don’t like olives.

I don’t know anyone who has bought olives from these olive bars.

I don’t know anyone who is such a fan of olives that they seek out olive bars.

There seem to be only two explanations:

1) Unbeknownst to me, people really, really like olives.

2) An olive-growers association has entered into a business arrangement with upscale supermarkets to create these olive bars in effort to stimulate the sale of olives.

In only tangentially related “news”, I saw an imported British candy bar today, the “Yorkie”. The slogan, printed right on the wrapper is “Not for Girls.” And the “o” in “Yorkie” has a symbol of a woman with a line through it. My reaction, naturally, was to say “what the fuck is this all about?” A bit of research brings us this explanation from Nestle’s marketing director:

“We felt we needed to take a stand for the British bloke and reclaim some things in his life, starting with his chocolate… Most men these days feel as if the world is changing around them and it has become less and less politically correct to have anything that is only for males. Yorkie feels that this is an important part of men’s happiness and is starting the reclaiming process of making a particular chocolate just for men.”

Gotta be the first candy explicitly dedicated to the elimination of women’s rights.

Well, no, it isn’t. Those words are a bunch of fucking nonsense aimed at getting people to buy chocolate. Mr. Marketing Director’s speech isn’t about gender or empowerment or political correctness. It’s about sales.

Christ do I hate advertisers.

Posted by Jake on January 24, 2005 11:18 pm


  1. For what it’s worth, I sometimes buy olives at the olive bar. Especially the pre-sliced ones, for pasta dishes.

    Comment by Amanda — January 25, 2005 @ 4:06 am

  2. Two points.
    First, although we get our’s from a local deli, my family buys Olives often and in quite some quantity. Try to look out for the large ones stuffed with garlic, or failing that sun-dried tomatoes. In my opinion, delicious to the point I often eat whole pots unless someone stops me.
    Secondly, I live in the UK. The Yorkie advertising campaign is indeed unbelievably stupid. We have to put up with the TV adverts too, and everyone I have watched them with agrees they are just pathetic. It’s a damned shame, as I actually quite like Yorkie chocolate.

    Comment by Tobias — January 25, 2005 @ 8:05 am

  3. I like olives. I have even bought some at an olive bar. But I must admit, not often.

    The Yorkie thing is pathetically lame.

    Comment by fiat lux — January 25, 2005 @ 10:38 am

  4. I actually do appreciate olive bars… the thing is, most people, when thinking of olives, think of 2 kinds: black ones, that come in a can and kids stick on the ends of their fingers (or possibly sliced) and green ones with pimentos that come in a jar and you put in martinis.

    Just as I like to shop at places that have more kinds of lettuce than iceberg or romaine, that might have 4 or 5 kinds of apple, I like groceries that have multiple varieties of olives.

    Comment by heydt — January 25, 2005 @ 8:43 pm

  5. …You seem a bit angry about olives in general. Supermarkets do not usually waste shelf space on products that do not sell…

    Olive bars are quite a hit. My company operates in this category. In case you have not noticed, fresher food options are popping up everywhere and consumers love to buy food that’s not pre-packaged.

    Comment by PB — June 9, 2005 @ 10:10 am

  6. Yorkie bars surely attract attention, which can’t be questioned as that is its’ aim. Olives are a coming trend as are every cultural expenditurure that you and everyone around you has grown upon. Stop questioning with a negative bias!

    Comment by Johoseph — March 25, 2006 @ 2:05 pm

  7. Are you trying to invent olive snack bars like wankers through media reverse barrocades? How long do I have to wait to see truth on the site [or shite depending on the answer], bastard world!

    Comment by Johoseph — March 25, 2006 @ 2:11 pm

  8. Sometimes I think I’m funny [Johoseph, me], but seriously I was drunk - sorry. Maybe I thought the subject was unimportant. The more we feed into the system [the more complaints], the more power ‘right’ it has to so called ‘rectify’, or change. They will provoke us but the motion of notion is refinement. Those who are destined to be conservative/objectionable must surely encompass their circle as others encompass theirs because us being drawn outwards is the aim of the ‘lying media bastards’. We must take a pride in what we know and know that it is our truth. Our mistakes, our waste is our importance/significance and we must take responsibility for it. We all want to better ourselves and granted that we can better ourselves, our inequality is based on a facade. Our waste is our importance, our mistakes, our significance. try facing yourself in the mirror, it’s imposible. Try stopping preventing demi-hells being imposed upon us by believing and listening especially when they say ‘the truth is out there’.

    Comment by Johoseph — April 7, 2006 @ 3:45 pm

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